Tag Archives: Rants

WTF? Where is my real life….


Where did my real life go?  The one I signed up for when I was a little girl?  The one that I dreamed about for long hours as a teenager?  The one that I thought I was going to have?  Your guess is as good as mine.

Tonight I literally had ball sweat wiped on my arm because my husband had been digging at his crotch, thought it was funny when I said “Ew that stinks, go take a shower” and then thought it would be even funnier to wipe it on me.  This is not the life I signed up for.  I am supposed to be on stage somewhere accepting an award for being totally awesome while my adoring non ball sweaty husband sits watching in admiration.  While my children (multiple) watch their mommy being honored.

My uterus was not supposed to throw out 6 babies before they were even recognizable as life.  I am truly eternally grateful for my one and only son and I love him more than anything in this world but he was not supposed to be an only child.  So what the hell?

I think that I am going to have to go talk to the clerks and find out where they stuck the real life when they gave me this one.  Was it lost in some great cosmic airport somewhere?  Was it sent to some person on the other side of the world and I got their life instead?  I guess I will never know.

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